» eve's sketch book

[EVELINA SUMMERS]

Here is a plain, leather-bound book with a cover of crimson velvet.
It has no title, gives no name, reveals no hints to what may lie beyond the cover.
Within its tattered pages lies the chaos, within the ink of Her pen lies the pain.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

» THURSDAY, JANUARY the TWENTIETH
This afternoon, before the sun had lain to rest beyond the horizon, I went out into the streets of our holy city. There were no reason behind my actions -- no one truly has any reason behind their actions, after all -- so I wandered the pale roads and watched the people. They are all so blind. More blind than I am deaf. They complain about money and politics; can they not see the children who search tirelessly for scraps of food? They whine about the chill of winter; can they not see the men who have no warm home to escape to, no coat to cover their frostbitten skin? They groan about their bothersome children; can they not see the widows who have tried so hard to raise a son, only to see him die from disease?

Why can they not see? Did they blind themselves? Did they shield their own eyes from the truth? Did they call the tears of the suffering 'water'? Did they call their cries of agony 'music'? Did they think that the cold, lifeless bodies of orphaned children would just disappear like snow under the summer sun? They are all blind cowards. Cowards blissfully basking in the light of their ignorance.

And yet, I am possibly the worst of all. I see those people suffering below our holy island in the sky. I see them, and yet I do nothing. Of course I go down to them, I give them money and food, but the money is spent, and the food eaten. It is a temporary solution, no more than a cloth bandage on a fatal wound. And after I give them this false, temporary hope, I leave them. I escape to our floating haven. Their suffering returns, until I return. And when I return, they are grateful towards me. Am I playing with their lives? Do I just help them for their love? Am I playing the part of a selfish goddess? I don't want to pretend to be more than I am. I don't want to show them an illusion of hope.

I just want the suffering to end. Theirs, and mine.

---

DEATH'S BLACK WINGS

There is darkness in the Wind tonight
And ashes in the fire;
The Wind spits ice in howling fright--
He's Nature's own town crier.
He wails of death and horrid things
That no one wants to hear,
So creatures run and birds take wing,
So they will not be near.

There is darkness in the Wind tonight
And ashes in our hearts;
We conquered Wind by taking flight
And tore our world apart.
We left the poor and suff'ring souls
To wallow in the Wind,
While we fly high with righteous goals,
Blinded by our sin.

[EVELINA SUMMERS]

» WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY the NINTH
Do people have souls? I realize that I am questioning the beliefs of the Temple when I ask this, but it is my nature to question and to doubt. I am forced to wonder... what makes up a soul? And how can going against the moral right cause them to decay?

And, most importantly, how can heartless monsters be born out of this destruction?

---

HALO BIRD'S FLIGHT

Flying flying flying high,
Fading from this dream,
Life is death and death is life,
Did no one hear me scream?

[EVELINA SUMMERS]

» SUNDAY, MARCH the SIXTH
There was a curious ancient children's book which I read today. It was about a human girl named Alice, who wanders about a dream-world inhabited by chimeras. Many illogical and entirely unrealistic events occur, but, despite that, I feel that I can somehow connect to that girl. Not because I am human and not because I am racist in any way towards chimeras -- I am, in fact, neither -- but because Alice did not belong. She thought differently than everyone else, and although she believed that she was thinking entirely logically, in the world she had entered her thoughts were unlike those of anyone else. Alice was trapped in a world of talking animals and a tyrannical queen; I am trapped in a world of silent priests and corrupt nobles. But I have a feeling that, unlike Alice,

I will not wake up in the end.

---

DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

Falling from reality,
Away from darkness binding,
Falling towards a vivid dream
In which the light is blinding.

The politics just fade away,
And so does family, all.
No money, trophies from your past,
You lost it from the fall.

Save yourself, my darling child,
From going towards the light.
It is a lie, it is a trap,
To steal your life this night.

Please wake up, my little girl,
Come back to all us here.
We miss you in this living world,
And can't suppress our fear.

I'm sorry, Miss (the doctor said)
As he put his tools away.
You daughter's in a coma now
And that is where she'll stay.